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# Anshin Psychotherapy: Anshin Psychotherapy provides compassionate, professional counselling for anxiety, depression, trauma, and personal growth, offering a safe space to support emotional well-being.

## Sitemaps
[XML Sitemap](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/sitemap_index.xml): Includes all crawlable and indexable pages.

## Posts
- [June: The Month I Did Almost Nothing](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/june-the-month-i-did-almost-nothing): June was supposed to be the first proper month of my sabbatical. When I used to imagine it, I pictured something calmer and more graceful than the reality. I thought there might be long walks, clear notebooks, tidy thoughts, maybe even the odd profound insight arriving with a cup of coffee. Instead, it began because my body finally said what I had been refusing to say: I cannot keep doing this.
- [Beginning a Year-Long Sabbatical](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/beginning-a-year-long-sabbatical): Last week I began a 12-month sabbatical. I’ve stepped back from client work for a while—partly because I needed a rest, partly to deepen my spiritual journey, and partly to give myself space to reflect on and develop my approach to therapy.
- [Parts, Patterns, and the Path Home: Internal Family Systems (IFS), Karmic Propensities, and Trauma Healing](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/parts-patterns-and-the-path-home-internal-family-systems-ifs-karmic-propensities-and-trauma-healing): I’ve recently been reading Ken McLeod’s book ‘Wake up to Your Life’ and Pema Chödrön’s ‘How We Live is How We Die’ and ‘Taking the Leap’ (both are highly respected Buddhist teachers) and although they don’t explicitly mention anything about IFS, I was struck by the overlap between what they describe as inherited and learned patterns of behaviour or responding to life events – karmic propensities and what IFS would call ‘parts.’ You don’t have to subscribe to the Buddhist notion of karma, and I suspect many readers won’t, so instead think of karma as cause and effect, psychological reinforcement and social reciprocity. Karma as the natural, logical consequences of actions – how our thoughts, feelings and behaviour shape our character, affect relationships in the present and influence the future.
- [Boundaries, Modern Life, and the Quiet Accumulation of Trauma](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/boundaries-modern-life-and-the-quiet-accumulation-of-trauma): There was a time when human life had edges.
- [Soul Work: The Journey to Inner Fulfilment](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/soul-work-the-journey-to-inner-fulfilment): For me, the journey into soul work was illuminated through the gentle teachings of Buddhism. The practices of mindfulness and compassionate self-awareness, so integral to Buddhist philosophy, opened a doorway to inner exploration beyond the surface of daily life. Through meditation and the Buddhist understanding of impermanence and non-attachment, I learned to witness my thoughts, emotions, and patterns without judgement, allowing space for both the light and the shadow within.
- [Autism and Internal Family Systems: Exploring Inner Worlds](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/autism-and-internal-family-systems-exploring-inner-worlds): Autism is often spoken about in terms of behaviours, challenges, and gifts, but rarely do we take time to consider the rich inner landscapes that autistic individuals experience. One therapeutic approach that offers a fresh perspective is Internal Family Systems (IFS), a model developed by Dr Richard Schwartz that explores the multiplicity of the mind and aims to foster harmony within.
- [The Self & Buddhism](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/the-self-buddhism): The concept of the self is one of the most profound considerations of human existence. Who are we? What defines our identity? These questions have occupied philosophers, theologians, and spiritual seekers for centuries. Among the myriad perspectives, Buddhism offers an intriguing and transformative understanding of the self — one that challenges conventional ideas and invites individuals to explore the deeper dimensions of existence.
- [The Self and Internal Family Systems: A Journey to Inner Harmony](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/the-self-and-internal-family-systems-a-journey-to-inner-harmony): In the intricate tapestry of human existence, the concept of the self has always been a central theme. Philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual leaders have long pondered the essence of the self and its myriad facets. One particularly illuminating framework that offers profound insights into the self and its inner workings is the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model. Developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, IFS presents a unique perspective on understanding and healing the self by recognizing and harmonizing its internal parts.
- [The concept of the Self in EMDR Therapy](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/the-concept-of-the-self-in-emdr-therapy): Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapeutic approach that has gained renown for its efficacy in treating trauma and other psychological disorders. In EMDR, what constitutes 'the self' is not explicitly articulated. It can be perceived as a conglomerate of memories, beliefs, emotions, and physical sensations that define an individual's unique identity. For me, this notion transcends a static definition, evolving continuously as one encounters new experiences and information. The self is not merely a singular, unchanging essence but a complex tapestry woven from a lifetime of interactions and internal dialogues.
- [New Year Thoughts](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/new-year-thoughts): The arrival of a new year is like turning the page to a fresh chapter in the book of our lives. It’s a moment brimming with possibilities, a time to pause, reflect, and reset. The transition from one year to the next is more than a date on the calendar—it’s an opportunity to evaluate where we are, where we’ve been, and where we want to go.
- [The Self](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/the-self): My approach to trauma is becoming more and more an integration of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) – IFS informed EMDR (IFSiEMDR)
- [EMDR and Mindfulness](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/emdr-and-mindfulness): I have recently returned from a four-day EMDR retreat or experience. The venue was a retreat and meditation centre in the west of England. In addition to EMDR practice and theory there was plenty of time to relax and reflect and for me to meditate. I got around to thinking of the link between EMDR and mindfulness…
- [New Year](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/new-year): So, we have passed the Winter Solstice, we welcome the return of The Light, days slowly get longer, nights slowly get shorter, and we welcome a new year. The start of a new year is often a time when we reflect on our experiences from the past year and consider our hopes for the new year. We make sense of the past year and perhaps think about the possible challenges, uncertainties, and goals in the upcoming year.
- [Trauma and the Four Noble Truths](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/trauma-and-the-four-noble-truths): One of the main elements in Buddhism are the Four Noble Truths:
- [Healing or fixing?](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/healing-or-fixing): At some point in therapy most of my clients tell me that they’re “broken” and that they need “fixing.” It often comes as a shock to hear that I can’t fix them, therapy does not “fix” you because you are not broken. At least this is the philosophy and model I use to underpin my work. What brings clients to my office is a consequence of something happening in their lives. Yes, I know that clients can be depressed and go to their doctor and get medication, get “fixed” if you like. This will mask the symptoms, sometimes clients feel better, but the actual reason for the depression is still there. This is one of the areas where therapy and medical treatment vastly differ. With medical treatment, the best outcome is a cure where you eradicate the illness and ensure it doesn’t return. In therapy, this isn’t possible because negative beliefs, maladaptive behaviours and many mental illnesses are not diseases that can be simply fixed. (I am aware that conditions such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder for example can benefit from medication and that Alzheimer’s and autism have an organic derivation). If clients want to take medication for depression, anxiety or whatever I have no problem with that, if it alleviates the issue that’s fine, I just know that in the long-term it isn’t the only solution.
- [Hero’s Journey](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/heros-journey): Therapy as a hero’s journey?
- [You can’t always get what you want](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/you-cant-always-get-what-you-want): I’ve not posted for a while because I’ve been giving a lot of thought to how I work as a therapist and how I would like to work and how I integrate everything and how I want to integrate all the theories, techniques, and models of therapy into my current work. This is still work in progress, but I thought I’d get some thoughts onto my blog for anyone who’s interested to look at.
- [Autism and the “double empathy problem”](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/autism-and-the-double-empathy-problem): This blog is a bit of a diversion from my other pieces. I have several clients who are neurodivergent with co-morbid issues such as complex PTSD, borderline personality disorder etc. I was investigating mentalisation and I came across the theory of "double empathy" in autism. Mentalising is the ability to perceive and comprehend our own and others’ behaviour based on feelings, thoughts, beliefs, wishes and desires that explain those actions. In other words, mentalising is the human capacity to understand why we – and others – do what we do. It is an imaginative mental activity since we cannot actually “read” another person's mind but can only infer or resonate with what they might be thinking and feeling from their current manner, speech and behaviour, and sometimes from our past experiences or knowledge of them. It is connected with the “theory of mind” which refers to the ability to understand the desires, intentions and beliefs of others, and is a skill that develops between 3 and 5 years of age in typically developing children. It was, and to an extent still is, postulated that those who are autistic do not have a theory of mind they have “mind-blindness”, an inability to understand that other people know, want, feel, or believe things. This perspective continues to frame how autistic differences are perceived today.
- [Spirituality and Therapy](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/spirituality-and-therapy): So, recently, we’ve had Easter (Christian), Eid (Muslim) and Wesak (Buddhist) which got me to thinking about spirituality and the role of spirituality in psychotherapy. I know that the festivals I’ve mentioned are religious and there’s a difference (and overlap) religion and spirituality. I don’t want to labour the point here so briefly, and this is my take on this and not necessarily correct, I see the difference as follows:I think that religion is something external to yourself, something that you reach out to and bring into yourself, something you believe in and requires faith. Spirituality is largely an internal thing; it is something that grows from within and requires no faith or belief in anything external. Religions tell you what to believe (think Bible, Qur’an, Bhagavad Gita or Tanakh for example). It is possible to be religious and not spiritual, spiritual and not religious and of course, it is possible to be both religious and spiritual; you can practice your personal blend of religion and spirituality by living spiritual truths within the parameters of your own religion. The line between religion and spirituality can be very nebulous.
- [Radical Acceptance](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/radical-acceptance): So, this follows on from my last post wherein I mentioned "acceptance" and explored how this is important in therapy. Tara Brach talks about "radical acceptance", the practice of acknowledging your experiences so you can be more present in the moment, learn to accept each moment as it comes—without judging our experiences or ourselves. She explains how we can use radical acceptance to live our lives more fully by always bringing our full attention to the present moment and accepting it for what it is. Radical acceptance does not mean self-indulgence or passivity, instead it empowers genuine change: healing fear and shame and helping to build loving, authentic relationships. It is based on the idea that suffering comes not directly from pain, but from one’s "attachment" to the pain or rather one’s attempts to avoid the pain, ignore it, wish it was something different and so on. It has its roots in Buddhism and the psychological paradigm put forth by Carl Rogers that acceptance is the first step towards change.
- [Buddhism and psychotherapy](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/buddhism-and-psychotherapy): Nearly every week one of my clients asks me something about Buddhism so I thought I’d briefly say what Buddhism means in my work as a ‘Buddhist-inclined’ therapist. If you are reading this you’ve probably looked at my website and seen the pictures of Buddha and you’ll know that I am a Buddhist. Firstly, let me by very clear, I do not try to persuade anyone to become a Buddhist, I do not preach, and Buddhism is not a proselytising religion or faith. Indeed, I see it as a way of life, a way of practice, and a philosophy rather than a religion. Buddha simply means ‘one who is awake’ or ‘enlightened’. Enlightenment is simply lifting the veils of ego or self so that we can see the world as it is and from a Buddhist perspective, this level of awareness is possible to all people. We develop an ego or sense of ‘I’ when we are children; this is the sense of self as a thinking, feeling, and willing individual and distinguishes itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought. The ego offers us protection and a sense of self but as we mature, we can learn through meditation and mindfulness practice to relax those structures. ‘Fully perceiving the nature of the self’ is one way to define enlightenment, we can connect to ourselves, the world and to nature in a more authentic, meaningful way.
- [Impermanence and change](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/impermanence-and-change): So, as 2021 ends I have been reflecting on beginnings and endings, birth and death and a quote attributed to the Buddha:
- [Trauma and Attachment](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/trauma-and-attachment): Having recently attended a three day workshop with Janina Fisher on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and attachment I thought that I would bring together my reflections on attachment and trauma.
- [What is Somatic Psychotherapy?](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/what-is-somatic-psychotherapy): Over the last year or so I’ve been attending a lot of courses and workshops around somatic psychotherapy and somatic experiencing inspired by the Trauma Therapy course I finished last year and my introduction to Hakomi Therapy. I have recently started a formal course run by Babette Rothschild in Somatic Therapy and as I learn more, I integrate it into my current practice.
- [Blink and it’s gone! OK, so it’s not quite like that…](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/blink-and-its-gone-ok-so-its-not-quite-like-that): I first heard of the Flash Technique (FT) earlier this year through my clinical supervisor. It is an adjunct to standard Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. FT is often employed during the preparation phase of EMDR as a rapid and relatively painless way of reducing the intensity of extremely disturbing memories so that they can be easily processed in the remaining phases of standard EMDR treatment. It is used with clients who are fearful of accessing aspects of their trauma, who dissociate when accessing the memory, who become emotionally overwhelmed, or who are resistant to visiting the memory. It can also be used in place of lengthier preparation activities for some clients. The goal of the intervention is to painlessly reduce the disturbance associated with a target memory to a level that the client is no longer resistant to fully accessing it and processing it with standard EMDR. Clients are advised that this can be a way that they can reduce memory-related distress without having to engage with it. 
- [Polyvagal Theory and Practice](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/polyvagal-theory-and-practice): I’ve been using polyvagal theory, developed by Stephen Porges, more and more in my clinical work recently. I find it to be a clear and helpful way of thinking about our feeling states that can give us more agency to feel better and to live in a more fulfilling and meaningful way.
- [Buddhism, me, mental health and trauma therapy](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/buddhism-me-mental-health-and-trauma-therapy):  I have been a practising Buddhist since the late 1960s (yes, I’m that old!) although I have “lapsed” a couple of times since then. 

## Pages
- [Useful Links](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/useful-links): We’ve compiled this collection of trusted businesses and services that we’ve personally found helpful. They operate across Oxfordshire, the West Midlands, and beyond—offering professional services and excellent customer care.
- [My Thoughts](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/my-thoughts): My Thoughts and Musings
- [Trauma](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/trauma): Clients are often surprised when I tell them that initially we won’t be deliberately working to bring their trauma history to the surface in therapy. It’s not that we wouldn’t ever want to do that or that we’re avoiding doing that. When the time is right, trauma processing in a safe, supportive environment has a role to play in the journey of trauma integration.
- [Sitemap](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/sitemap): Sitemap
- [Privacy Policy](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/privacy-policy): This privacy policy sets out how Anshin Psychotherapy uses and protects any information that you give us when you use this website.
- [Reviews](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/reviews): Recent testimonials from clients I have worked with.
- [About](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/about): MSc BA (Hons) Psychotherapist, Counsellor, IFS, SE & EMDR Therapist. I offer trauma-focused, neurodiverse-affirming therapy.
- [How I Work](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/how-i-work): "We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body". Bessel A van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score
- [Contact](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/contact): I would love to hear from you. Call or email me directly and let’s talk .
- [Home](https://www.anshinpsychotherapy.co.uk/): at North Bar House 43-44 North Bar Street Banbury OX16 0TH